LAZY GIRL... Still Quoting Other People...

I'm so sorry. I know that lately I've been incredibly lazy with my blog posts. I'm super sporadic and even when I do post a lot of them are ETR excerpts. I have a pocket full of reasons/ excuses for it, but I'll save it. Whoever wants to hear them can email me and I'll send them to you.

Anywho... I found more inspiring ETR to share. And I'm giving you my word, I'm going to make more of an effort not to quote them so often... but this is REALLY good!

Let It Go -- Babies Do!
By Srikumar Rao

We drove upstate from Manhattan for a while, parked, and headed out into the forest. The first two hours were just fine.

We had an enjoyable late lunch. I didn't want to litter, so I put the empty root beer bottles back in my pack, and we set out again. It was not so fine after that. My shoulders ached. My arms felt as if they were dropping off.

Finally, I discarded my inhibitions about littering along with the root beer bottles. I found out "who did it" in the thriller because I finished it after lunch, but I never discovered why the upright, aristocratic family disintegrated after two generations. I paid a fine for both "lost" books. And somewhere in the Adirondacks, a four-hour hike from I-95, nestled in the hollow of an evergreen's roots, is a white casserole dish with a bright blue flower motif.

I understand why experienced hikers pay hundreds of dollars for super-strong, lightweight rope and a tent that weighs a pound less than another brand. You don't want to carry any extra stuff on a long journey when you're on your own. The manager of the space shuttle program cheerfully forks out tens of thousands of dollars to lop a few ounces off the payload and considers it money well spent.

You too are on a long journey and are on your own. It is called life. You came into it alone, you will depart it alone, and in between -- even though you may be surrounded by others -- you are essentially alone.

The mental detritus that you insist on carrying around on this journey is every bit as enervating and debilitating as the physical stuff that slows you down on a long hike.

A marriage counselor I know was speaking about the reasons couples split up. "The number-one reason they are unable to come to terms is that they never let go," he explained. The wife remembers in startling detail, including dates and times, all the sarcastic remarks her mother-in-law has made. She cites all the times her husband has forgotten birthdays, spoken slightingly of her friends, disparaged her efforts to beautify their home.

The husband recalls, equally accurately, the number of times she has prevented him from going to a game he really wanted to see, the friends she froze out of his life, and the numerous occasions she "had a headache." "Crap happens in every relationship," the counselor went on. "The ones who survive are the ones who can drop it, clean up, and move on."

You also are carrying heavy burdens, and the odds are quite good that you don't even recognize it. Is there a colleague at work whose presence fills you with distaste and a feeling of dread? Do you find yourself reacting viscerally to a relative? Do you "know" that a meeting your boss has called is going to be a total waste of time? Are there people who rub you the wrong way, social situations that make you uneasy, tasks that bore you to death?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you're bowing under the weight of your load.

"Whoa!" I hear you say. "This is just knowledge. I didn't create this stuff. I merely recognized it." This is a common reaction. A jerk is a jerk. When you have had many experiences of the "jerkiness" of an individual at work, it is easy to label him a jerk and treat him as such.

But I am not really concerned with that individual. I don't even care whether he is or is not a jerk. What matters is the feeling you have toward him. The groaning expectation when you meet him that the interaction will be distasteful. The dread you feel beforehand. That is the burden you carry. That is the sum total of the experience that you have not let go.

It is possible that at least some of that person's "jerkiness" comes from the prison in which you're holding him -- and yourself. The Pygmalion effect has been well documented. In one study, teachers who were told that randomly selected students were "very bright" developed expectations that those students would perform at high levels. Lo and behold, they did far better than their peers. Other researchers have found similar effects in a variety of settings. Your expectations do affect the outcome you observe.

Watch a baby gurgling happily and chugging milk from his bottle. Now take the bottle away. He screws up his face and bawls. He turns red. There is no doubt at all that he is really angry. Now give his bottle back. In seconds, he is back to a state of contentment as he drains the bottle.

Babies know how to let things go. When they are angry, they are angry. When they are sad, they are sad. When they are finished playing with a toy, they are done with it. They don't carry anything around. Each thing that happens to them is something new to be experienced in the moment.

Your problem is that you carry stuff around. Over time, the accumulation becomes burdensome indeed. Drop it.

Drop the Useless Baggage You Carry Around

Are there troublesome people in your life? The next time you meet one, forget the history. Don't expect that the interaction will be unpleasant. Expect that it will be delightful, and if it isn't, then let it go. Don't carry it over to the next time you meet.

Do the same with unpleasant situations. Note how many times your existing expectations sour your experience. Consciously drop the past. It's hard, but with practice, you will get the hang of it.

For the past week I've been taking inventory of my life and doing something I should never ever do. I started comparing my life to those around me and wallowing in lack, my short comings, and decided that almost everyone in the world was doing better than me. Well that's just ridiculous. I was spiraling again, and once I recognized what I was doing, I snapped out of it.

I don't know what makes me go there from time to time... maybe it's fatigue. You do and think weird things when you're sleep deprived. But here I am newly inspired by many things, one being my daughter's birthday. Another is remembering what a strange bird I am - my passions and the paths that I have pursued - and celebrating it. It's like my own private awards ceremony.

I ran across this ETR entry and felt inspired by this post from Michael Masterson. Maybe you can get something out of it as well.

Nobody Owes You Anything: From Gardener to Entrepreneur

The average Nicaraguan is born in a shack with a dirt floor. He earns less than $15 a week.

"E," my gardener in Nicaragua, does much better than that. But he is still, by U.S. standards, poor. Since I am in daily contact with E when I'm there, I often think about how I can help him earn more money. He wants more material goods -- and who can blame him, when he sees how "well" we gringos live (in person and on television)?

Several years ago, I was tempted to give him the few thousand dollars it would have taken to make his house one of the nicest in the hamlet where he lives. But I knew from experience that it would do him no good. It would go as quickly as it came. Given money always does.

Worse, it would reinforce the very bad idea that money comes from me to him, instead of from his own labor and ingenuity.

Because I wanted E to have a nicer house and because I wanted him to understand that money represents something of value (hard work, enterprise, etc.), I gave him the opportunity to do some extra work for me.

Since he was already being paid for gardening, I told him I'd pay him considerably more on a per-hour basis than what he was making on a salary -- but to earn it, he had to work in his spare time and develop more valuable skills.

He began by learning to paint and do a little carpentry. Then he learned how to do a bit of plumbing and electrical work.

About two years ago, we switched from hourly pay to job-related pay. This gave him the chance to learn how to estimate his time and write up bills and keep receipts and even to negotiate (with me!).

Today, he has the house I would have liked to give him years ago, but he got it with his own efforts. It wasn't a gift, and he knows it.

He's also used some of his extra earnings to build and stock a little store that sits in front of his house. His wife works there. It provides his family with a second income.

In his transformation from gardener to entrepreneur, E faced an obstacle that was greater than his lack of skills.

E went to grammar school (the only school they had) during the Sandinista years. The Sandinistas, to remind you, were Communists -- so E was taught two very dumb ideas about wealth:

Everyone is entitled to an equal share of it. ("To each according to his needs.")

Those who have more than others should give it up. ("From each according to his means.")

These ideas move very quickly into thoughts like:

"It is the responsibility of my government to take care of me."

"It is the responsibility of my boss and the business I work for to make me secure and financially successful."

When E met me, the path to wealth was through Michael Masterson because Michael Masterson, his boss, had the money that E wanted. He didn't want to have money like me. He wanted to have my money.

He saw money as a static thing. He believed that there was just so much of it in the world, and the only way to get some for himself was to get it from someone else. Since I was the only wealthy guy he knew, it made perfect sense for him to base his strategy for growing rich on "101 ways to talk Michael Masterson into giving me money."

It is a very good feeling to know that E doesn't feel like that anymore. I am still his biggest client, but he has done fix-it jobs for other homeowners in our community -- and he has the extra income from his store.

Wrongheaded ideas about wealth are not unique to Communist countries. They exist in every country of the world, including the United States.

Some people think they are entitled to be taken care of by the government. The result: They spend their time applying for government handouts.

Others think that all the profits of a company should be distributed to its workers. The result: They're never happy with what they earn.

Still others think that no one is entitled to have more money than they have. The result: They keep trying to get people they know to give them some of theirs.

None of that will make you wealthy. In fact, it will make it harder for you to acquire wealth. Every minute you spend thinking about or asking for money you didn't earn is a minute wasted and a bad habit reinforced.

Becoming wealthy in America s not difficult if you are willing to work for it. Anyone who is willing to do what E did can enjoy a much higher income and, eventually, financial independence.

It starts with recognizing that you are responsible for your own future. You must reject every idea that is about acquiring wealth for free. That includes blaming others for your situation -- however bad it may be.

The next step, as E learned, is to acquire financially valuable skills. For him, that meant painting and carpentry at first -- and later, the basics of owning a business. You probably already have a financially valuable skill -- something you know how to do better than just about anyone else you know. You can build on that by acquiring marketing skills. And then management, negotiating, and the other skills that made E the successful entrepreneur he is today.

But to begin, you must overcome inertia. Inertia is the enemy of every worthwhile goal.

Inertia is the reason you can't find the time to start developing the skills that will bring you financial independence. Or the reason you start, get busy... and then forget about it. Inertia is every excuse I have ever heard from people who return to ETR's wealth-building bootcamps year after year and tell me why they haven't yet started turning their dreams into reality.

Inertia is the problem, and there is only one way to overcome it. That way is to take action. Some significant, positive action that will get you going, even if you are not now sure exactly where you want to go.

The Internet abounds with self-help and wealth-building programs that can guide you along the way. (At ETR, we like to think that we offer some of the best.) If you have done nothing else so far, invest in one of these services today and get started on applying the lessons you learn.

And here is where the circle connects: Action is the key, but action won't happen until you decide that you are responsible for your success.

So repeat after me:

"My parents owe me nothing."

"My children owe me nothing."

"My friends owe me nothing."

"The world owes me nothing."

"I -- and no one else -- am responsible for my success."