“Time waits for nothing and no one
Cause everything has its time”
-Musiq (Time)

It started with the discovery of a pimple on her face…

This morning, my daughter was in the bathroom rolling her eyes and blowing her breath with obvious attitude because the heart on her “I (heart) NY” t-shirt had an orange tint to it and didn’t exactly match the red satin bow she wanted to wear in her hair. Then the new black cardigan I bought her didn’t look as good as her black hoodie she wanted to wear (but couldn’t because it has a skull on it). I lost it.

I told her, “I’m taking all of your clothes away because you don’t seem to appreciate how good you have it right now. You’re being a baby.”

“Mom! Stop! You’re not even letting me be upset for a couple of minutes! A couple of MINUTES!”

She was right. This morning she was about to embark on the biggest day of her life. It’s her first day of high school. She was having a freak out moment, and I guess I was having mine too.

For the last six months, I’ve been calculating approximately how much time I have left to cram all the things I want her to know and expose her to before she’s too cool and too old to listen. There’s so much that I wish I could have given and shown her when she was smaller, but because of financial limitations I couldn’t. Those were the days where we ate McDonalds on the floor by candle light because my lights were cut off. When I cashed in savings bonds to make rent. When I didn’t eat because I wanted to make sure she had enough food to last the rest of the week.

Now don’t go off feeling too sorry for my poor girl because after all, eventually she did get those swimming lessons; horseback riding lessons; ballet lessons; summer camps; drumming lessons; private school… Oh yeah and there was that little East Coast tour where she spent 8 days on a field trip visiting states and historical sites I’ve yet to see, and where she ice skated for the first time at the Rockefeller Center in New York (and saw the play Wicked on Broadway).

What she didn’t get when she was smaller is all water under the bridge. My eyes are on what more can I throw on her wall (see how much sticks – something is bound to rub off). She is entitled to a freak out moment. This time of her life is monumental… But I watched them cut the umbilical chord – it’s a monumental time in my life too! So I’ll have to forgive myself for having my own moment. I really am excited for her.