Whitney is Still Every Woman… Always - by guest writer, LB Lacey

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”
- Steve Jobs

“What? She’s dead?”

That’s what I said when my mother rang my cell to deliver the news. It caught me off guard and made me feel strangely angry at my mother, the messenger for a moment. In the far back of my mind where I pushed it, the fear that Whitney might come to such an untimely fate had been with me for the past few years. I prayed for Whitney. I sent her cards expressing encouragement and support though I doubted she would actually ever get them. I wanted Whitney to make it against all odds; the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes. Many of us wanted Whitney to make it. Damn it!

“A moment in the soul can last…forever!” –Whitney Houston – Didn’t We Almost Have It All

I have always felt a unique connection to Whitney Houston. This connection is one that I have never felt for any other celebrity. I think it is because she was just a young Black girl coming up from a harsh city to build success from nothing. She went from poor to 100 million in what seemed like an instant. How could she fail to inspire? I identified with her so strongly that I planned to name my daughter either Whitney or Ashley when she was born. The only reason I chose Ashley over Whitney was because Whitney was just so Whitney. She owned the name. I wanted to give my daughter her own name to claim. Still, Whitney was and will always be Thee Gurl!

“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow if I fail; if I succeed at least I did as I believe.” –Whitney Houston – The Greatest Love of All

Whitney opened up a world of possibility to girls of my generation. She seemed to shine in a way that so many young Black girls only dreamt of shining. As her star rose higher and higher, I felt a small part of me was being allowed to rise with her. She allowed me to gaze into the essence of “potentiality”. The vicarious blessing I enjoyed was more than I could have ever expected.

“I’m every woman…It’s all in me... I can read your thoughts right now… Every one from A to Z!” –Whitney Houston – I’m Every Woman

Whitney truly was our own modern day “Every-Woman”. I even related to Whitney’s heartbreak. As I watched her struggles with Bobby Brown, I felt a sense of sisterhood with her. Here she was a beautiful, talented, successful woman and even that was not enough to secure marital bliss for her. All she wanted was to be loved. All we wanted was to be loved. Did it elude her? It seemed to me that it did. It eluded me too. If a man like Bobby Brown could not be satisfied with Whitney Houston, it made it somewhat easier to bear that my own piggish spouse at the time could not be satisfied with me.

“If she was a friend of mine and she ever asked me for advice -- which is hard to imagine -- I'd say, 'Dump the husband!'” –Whitney Houston

Recently Whitney was in Detroit filming Sparkle. She was perfectly cast for the role and if not for the tragic death of Aaliyah, it would have been filmed years ago. (http://youtu.be/dQhQgTyPdX4) I kicked myself for not making the time to try to get at least a role as an extra in that movie. Just to be on the same set that Whitney would have been an experience to be treasured for me. (Little did I know how much!) I actually love acting and the world of movie making too, but I seldom have time for all of that. Whitney would have been well worth the break from reality.

“I believe in miracles, love is a miracle…” –Whitney Houston – I Believe In You and Me

Of course what I really wanted to do was kick back and enjoy a moment of “coffee-talk” with Whitney in her trailer. (Crazy? I know!)I imagined our just kicking back and talking about how strange this world has become since we were teenagers. The music is so different. The young adults are utterly different beings than we used to be. I saw us laughing and trading war stories about the lecherous males each of us had managed to marry and how surprisingly better it was to be actually free of them. I wanted to thank her for recording ‘sho’ nuff jamms’ that helped me to sing and dance past my own heartbreak. Through good times and bad times Whitney was always there in my life singing like no one else ever could in the background.

“It's not right but it's okay… I'm gonna make it anyway… Pack your bags up and leave...And don't you dare come running back to me!” Whitney Houston – It’s Not Right But It’s Okay

I imagined Whitney and I having a real heart to heart. Whitney did not have many friends. I can understand that. Most people do not really know anything about authentic friendship, acceptance, or loyalty. I feel I could have been a true friend to Whitney. I wanted to ask her about the substance abuse issue and whether or not she was able to accept support and help with that. Did she even want help with that? I imagined ways of broaching the subject with her without making her feel insulted, angry or judged.

“I finally faced the fact that it isn't a crime not having friends. Being alone means you have fewer problems.” --Whitney Houston

Most people rip people apart. They judge. It’s their drug. It helps no one; only makes them feel superior or better about their own miserable lives. I wanted to help Whitney if I could. I wanted her to know that I feel that the people who judge her and try to humiliate her because she struggles with addiction are useless jack-asses. They have no idea what she has had to go through. Odds are that they or someone they care about struggles with alcohol and/or drugs too. Just this year the CDC named substance abuse as the number health problem among American youth. (http://www.theantidrug.com/pdfs/prescription_report.pdf)So, if anything perhaps Whitney has helped to bring this issue to light. Her pain has likely saved someone’s life. Judging her helps no one.

"Prescription drug abuse is the fastest growing drug problem in the United States," says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The increase has been "driven by increased use of a class of prescription drugs called opioid analgesics." –Centers for Disease Control - http://www.riskandinsurance.com/story.jsp?storyId=533344978

“Nobody likes to be picked on. Nobody.” --Whitney Houston

So what are all the judgments and the jokes about? If anything Whitney has thrown a mirror up to the millions of glass houses in America. If we really want to get serious and save the lives of ourselves and the lives of our largely troubled children, perhaps we will stop judging and joking and start cleaning house; pun intended! Oh, the hypocrisy and scrutiny Whitney had to endure…as if she was personally hurting anyone besides herself and her own loved ones. While people are busy all up in someone else’s business, there own business often rots like high hell. So, yes; Whitney had problems. She had relationship problems, family problems, coping problems, substance abuse problems, career issues, etc. News Flash: Whitney Houston was a human being. What is it about celebrity that makes regular folks so crazy to dig into every aspect of someone’s life and business? Celebrities are just people. No one is perfect. We are all just trying to get through this thing called…LIFE. So, again, what are all the judgments and jokes about?

“I've read about myself and my husband and my family, to the point where they've called my parents, they've called my brothers, offering money to tell stories. They call friends of mine. I'd just like for them to just ... don't badger us. Don't scrutinize us. We have children and they have to live, too. It's not fair.” –Whitney Houston

I am not one to idolize celebrities. It just seems so silly to me. There are artists whom I really appreciate and whose work I thoroughly enjoy. Whitney has been one of these artists. Yet she became more to me through her vulnerability and humanity. When she triumphed, I experienced a sense of triumph with her. When Whitney began to falter, I felt a deep sense of pain with her. I recall seeing her infamous performance at a tribute show for Michael Jackson a few years ago. She looked so frail. People started talking and joking about her saying she was ‘looking like one who was going to die soon.’ I never found the humor in this. Though I have not been particularly enamored with so-called stars, I have been no more impressed with regular folks who place people on pedestals just to knock them down later. It is just something about human nature that often seems to enjoy watching lions rip our protagonists apart.

“Just as Christ was a superstar, you stupid star
They'll hail you then they'll nail you, no matter who you are
They'll make you now then take you down
And make you face it, if you slit the bag open and put your pinky in it, then taste it…” –Lauryn Hill – Superstar

Whitney Houston was a woman—a Black woman who rose to fame and success from little more than nothing. I admire her accomplishments and continue to be inspired by her. Her challenges serve as cautionary tales for many of us… if we allow them to be. I am sorry that Whitney had to die at so young an age. I am certain that her being was still quite full of beauty, potential and creativity that we shall now never be blessed enough to behold. Still, she has still given us all much more of herself than any human beings owes to show the world. I pray that she has found peace, comfort and protection in God, the Creator of us all. I pray for her daughter Bobbi Kristina and her mother Cissy Houston—her entire loving family who must now be in unspeakable pain. I thank my sister, Whitney for sharing her rare talents and that Voice from the heavens with the earth.
We ain’t deserve to hear that Voice…but it sho was good!

“God gave me a voice to sing with, and when you have that, what other gimmick is there?” --Whitney Houston

They Don’t Know You’re Dyin Till You’re Dead
Dedicated to the Memory of Whitney Houston

I braved the stony streets of old Detroit
A quiet child who could not find her voice
I realize that I was seeking someone
Or something was seeking me
Whatever it was it seems I had no choice

They don’t know you’re dyin till you’re dead
They don’t feel you crying till you’ve bled
Sufferin & tryin
Smilin & denyin
They don’t care you’re dyin till you’re dead

I suffered each fool and liar as if God
From whom I sought approval and a nod
Actually he ain’t never gave me a thing
Just kisses while beating me
With Bible-belts, words & golden rods

They don’t know you’re dyin till you’re dead
They don’t feel you crying till you’ve bled
Sufferin & tryin
Smilin & denyin
They don’t care you’re dyin till you’re dead

I lived sometimes like life was just a movie
And all that nastiness had never happened to me
But reality’s always seein thru me
He’s stalkin me and can’t no one do me like she do me

They don’t know you’re dyin till you’re dead
They don’t feel you crying till you’ve bled
Sufferin & tryin
Smilin & denyin
They don’t care you’re dyin till you’re dead

I fell asleep to keep from waking up
I cut my throat to sing you songs of love
Now revelations hit me like cold bullets to the head
Let me live & just keep lovin you
You being you; I’ll never die enough

They don’t know you’re dyin till you’re dead
They don’t feel you crying till you’ve bled
Sufferin & tryin
Smilin & denyin
They don’t care you’re dyin till you’re dead

They don’t hear you’re lyin till you’re dead
They don’t hear one fuckin thing you’ve said
Struggling & slidin
Swallowing & hiding
They don’t care you’re dyin till you are dead


© eLLe BeaH (LB Lacey) 2012

Invisible Man? Not So Impossible!

My boyfriend and I have this running joke about an “Invisible Man” action figure. It's a toy concept we concocted years ago featuring a very well designed box that stated all the wonderful things the “Invisible Man” could do. All the glorious adventures a person could take his/her toy on through the endless possibilities of their imagination. The box would be empty. Of course. The invisible man had to be really invisible.

Well dear reader, technology is far more advanced than the average Joe and Jane could imagine. The concept that has woven itself into the fantasies of fiction stories for decades is here. I’m not pulling your leg with an empty box punch line either. It was brought to my attention, just today, that military forces are using “Cloaking Technology” in current combat.

This is from MSNBC May 2006:

Unlike those tales of fictional invisibility, the real-life technologies usually have a catch. Nevertheless, limited forms of invisibility might be available to the military sooner than you think.

"We're very confident that at radar frequencies, these materials can be implemented on a time scale of 18 months or so," John Pendry of Imperial College London told MSNBC.com.

Pendry's research team is one of two groups whose results were posted Thursday on the journal Science's Web site in advance of print publication. The two papers lay out different theoretical methods for creating invisibility, not only for radar but potentially for optical wavelengths as well.

Still more teams are out there with ideas to make things invisible — using methods ranging from superlenses that cancel out the light from nearby objects to actual cloaks onto which video can be projected as a moving camouflage. The most exotic technologies involve "metamaterials," blends of polymers and tiny coils or wires that twist the paths of electromagnetic radiation.

This is from the Christian Science Monitor almost two weeks ago:

It may not be a cape of magical, silvery material, but it's still an invisibility cloak. A tube made of an insulating material striped with long, thin strips of copper makes objects within it invisible to microwaves. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin reported their cloaking chamber Jan. 25 in the New Journal of Physics.

Different lab groups have been trying to cloak objects from light waves and microwaves for years. Previous efforts rendered objects invisible along a plane, in two dimensions, by bending microwaves around the objects. Last year researchers demonstrated an invisibility cloak that worked in three dimensions, concealing a bump on a reflective surface.

This newest cloak makes three-dimensional objects invisible without using reflective surfaces or specialized microwave chambers. "We don't need mirrors, we don't need waveguides, we just built a cloak with a cover around an object," said Andrea Alù, an engineer at Texas-Austin who led the research.

If you’re still a non-believer, take a look at what you can even SEE on Youtube:

MONSTERS!!

What I’ve realized is that we are all surrounded by a great number of people who are saddled with a lot of fear. It’s debilitating sometimes. Even I have to remind myself to plow through a force field of horror – frequently – whispering under my breath, “No fear.”

About a week ago I was invited to participate in a monster drawing contest (don’t laugh) but I had to pass with all that I had on my plate already… So today via email the winners of the contest were announced. I almost deleted it without opening it, but I gave in to curiosity and felt enlightened.

The winner of the contest was an artist by the name of LJ. Her drawing was titled, “Critical.” Commenting on her own work, she said:

“This guy, that critic that stares over your shoulder, worrying that you’ll make a mistake and – what if nobody likes it? What if it’s garbage? Hmmpf. He’s a big ugly monster and difficult to ignore.”

The second winner was an artist named Marie De Mars with her drawing titled, “Fear Monster.” She comments:

“[It comes from] the strangled feeling that always comes with fear. Drawing it out makes me think all I need is a pair of hedge clippers to deal with it!”

Even the creator of the contest, Cory Huff, was moved by the creations of the artists:

The most obvious thing that stands out to me is that all of the monsters were cartoons or cartoon-ish. They were in the vein of children’s books. The things that hold us back and manipulate our fears are often preying on the part of us that feels small, vulnerable, and innocent. How we deal with those fears is unique for each of us, but taking care of that scared little one is important.

I also learned that there are a lot of artists out there who have secret fears that they are unable to let out. One of the funniest things about drawing out your monster is that it helps you see that so much of what holds you back comes from within. Face your monster, and then put it down!

I’ll have to think about today…make sure I have my own monster on a leash. You might think about doing the same…

Don is Gone

Confession: I used to be a Soul Train dancer.

So when I was driving into work on my early morning commute and heard on the radio that Don Cornelius, creator and former host of the dance show Soul Train had died, I was stunned. Cornelius had shot himself in an apparent suicide in his Sherman Oaks home about four this morning, around the same time I was trying to pull myself out of bed. He was 75 years old.

My first thought was that he must have been in a great deal of pain. Physical pain I mean. I thought, maybe he was suffering enormously from some debilitating condition that he’d rather end than go on living through. Though no report has yet surfaced about his exact bill of health, a report on MSNBC did state that Cornelius complained of “significant health issues” during 2009 divorce proceedings.

I never met Cornelius. I saw him on the set, but I never walked over to him and introduced myself, or tell him that I used to watch the show as a child like it was part of my religion. He’ll never know how my own family used to form “Soul Train lines” during family functions where music was blasting and cousins, aunts, uncles would progress down a path made by kin, shaking it and being silly. Having fun.

The reason I’d never went up to him was simple. Don Cornelius was the king of Soul Train. He was no longer hosting at that time, but he was always pacing the shadows, whispering (something important I assumed) into people’s ears. Leaning his tall frame over to hear some crew member say something to him. His presents reminded me that I was now a part of history. He was the icon attached to a show that influenced so many homes of African Americans. A legend. It seemed inappropriate to blather on about my excitement to dance on his set. I was sure he had heard it before, and my gushing would be washed in the sea of faces who had said the same things to him so many times over the years. So I said nothing. I danced. I took it all in. And after growing tired of how I was treated on the show, I walked away.

It is so tragic that Cornelius had to make such a decision in the sunset of his years. His presence and creation will forever be a small part in the foundation of many American lives. My hope is that he has found his love...peace...and soul.