This week’s story, “Miss Lora,” marks the return of Yunior, who last appeared in the magazine two years ago, in “The Pura Principle.” In that story, Yunior’s brother, Rafa, has recently been diagnosed with cancer. “Miss Lora” takes place shortly after Rafa’s death, when Yunior is still dealing with “a fulgurating sadness” and also sleeping with his neighbor, an older woman. Back in 2010, did you know that you were going to write this story?
My brother’s cancer—what I used to call his exile to Cancer Planet—it’s one of those fractures in my past that I keep returning to. Very boring for readers, I’m sure, but all artists have their chronotopes, these time-spaces we keep circling, and this happens to be mine. But yes, I knew I would write “Miss Lora.” Actually, I tried to write this story first but it just wouldn’t stick, and so then I wrote “The Pura Principle.” What really sparked me was that I was hanging with a group of my boys, they asked me what I was working on, and I told them—this older-woman thing—and a few of them started talking about their own experiences in high school. Two of them had been in similar situations, even lost their virginities to older women. They were proud of what happened, too, a serious notch in their masculine belts. This type of impropriety was not as uncommon as one might imagine, not in a Caribbean community like the one I grew up in, where boys were encouraged toward a hypermasculine ideal, where the line between adults and minors was not as safeguarded as it should have been. Anyhow, this alarming conversation got me back on track. Ignited the work.
In the story, the sixteen-year-old Yunior, failing to get very far with his girlfriend, starts flirting with his neighbor Miss Lora, “a middle-aged single type,” who teaches at a local high school. “It’s the first time any girl ever wanted you,” Yunior thinks after one early encounter. He is reminded of Miss Lora’s age by everyone around him—“That old fucking hag,” his girlfriend says of her—but there’s also something exuberant and easy about their rapport. Did you want the reader to be pulled into this relationship without initially judging it?
I assumed the reader would judge the situation immediately; this is, after all, illegal conduct. But I had hoped to produce a piece of art that allowed the reader to experience a number of contradictory streams of feelings simultaneously. Sure, it would be swell if someone got to know Miss Lora before they judged her, or if their judgment was overturned by reading the story, but it’s also cool if a reader judges and knows the character simultaneously and neither of these experiences alters or counteracts the other. In a culture like ours, obsessed with its dichotomies, giving folks the opportunity to work out their simultaneity muscle is a worthy goal.
If the genders were reversed, and the sixteen-year-old were female and the teacher a man, do you think we’d read the story any differently? Could you write that story?
I suspect such a story would be read from go as more criminal and creeptastic. Like I mentioned before: there is a societal gravity at work which makes some of us, not all of us, less inclined to be disturbed by adolescent boys (especially colored urban adolescent boys) messing around with older women. Could I write the female compliment of that story? Well, I wrote about something similar in my novel “Oscar Wao.” The mother character, Belicia, falls in love with a much older man, but the narrative particulars were quite distinct. Could I write my exact story with the genders reversed? Doubt it; I could barely write this one. But if I did, it would weaken some of the story’s punch. Part of what I was getting at was that a lot of people I grew up with (including parents, and some readers I’m sure) don’t react like Lora, does in this story—don’t consider what happens to Yunior a crime. Lora does of course, and she offers Yunior a way of looking at what happens, which he never quite grasps.
“The Pura Principle” was written in the first person, as are many of the stories in your 1996 collection, “Drown.” “Miss Lora” is told in the second person. Why did you make that choice? Does it present any particular challenges or rewards?
I really needed distance from this story. Every time I wrote in the first person it was just too close. Tried third person, but that flopped as well. Second person ended up being the only way to get through. I guess I wanted my narrator to be “in” the story, but also to be able to comment on his younger self a little. That was the plan, at least. Second person, I’ve always noticed, has the distinction of being both intimate and repellent at the same time. A quick way of drawing the reader close but also hard to sustain for any length of time. Only so much a person likes being addressed as “you” by a complete stranger. I knew I’d lose people with the approach, but I was going to lose people anyway. That’s the nature of fiction: despite all our lofty claims of universality, no piece of art is for everyone—which is why we have so much art, so that everyone has a chance of finding something that moves them. I figured some people somewhere might connect with the tale even in second person.
The story is set in 1986, and Yunior is filled with a sense of apocalyptic foreboding, convinced that the world is going to end in a nuclear conflagration. The movies and shows he’s watching—“Threads,” “The Day After Tomorrow”—along with the political rhetoric of the time, form the backdrop to his relationship with Miss Lora. Did you share Yunior’s obsession in 1986? Have you watched any of those films or shows since?
Like everyone of my generation I lived (to quote Alan Moore) in the shadow of Manhattan—under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. Denial and negative hallucination allowed plenty of folks to live through that madness, but other people made art and politics addressing the doomsday logic at the heart of our so-called national defense. I was reached by that art and politics. I was a paperboy and was made aware very quickly of what was going on. Became one of those young people who could not sleep because of my fear of the bomb. The movies, the comics, the songs, the books, the politics—the whole spectrum of bomb-static rising out of the culture seized me right at the moment I was coming of age. I obsessively read the newspapers, obsessively watched the news, froze every time the emergency broadcast signal switched on. Because I lived within sight of New York City, I was treated almost every week to TV maps showing what parts of the tri-state area would be destroyed by Soviet attack—London Terrace, where I lived in Parlin, New Jersey, was so deep in the death zone there wasn’t even going to be time to kiss our asses goodbye. I certainly bit my tongue to ribbons from my night terrors of the coming doomsday. And, like Yunior, I was totally convinced I was going to be reduced to radioactive pumice before I ever had a chance to graduate from high school. I was definitely a hardcore apocalypticist.
For this story I revisited a lot of those old texts. Some, like “Threads” and “Watchmen,” really hold up. In the process, I had a couple of the old dreams. Hate to sound ridiculous, but I wish more people bit their tongue in their sleep over this shit. Here goes my public-service moment, but the nuclear arsenals are still vast. Chekhov’s gun introduced in the first act is still waiting to go off .
I Dare You
By Susan Fujii
When you were a child did you ever accept a dare from a friend? Or play the famous game "Truth or Dare"? I still remember sweating it out when it came to be my turn, wondering which would be worse:
Squirming uncomfortably in my chair while someone asked me a truly embarrassing question that I did not want to answer (and I'm a terrible liar so that was never an option for me - everything I feel and think is written all over my face), or being forced to summon the courage to do something physical that was probably even more embarrassing!
I can still remember my heart beating wildly and my extreme nervousness just before I had to choose. It was terrifying!
But I also remember the absolute thrill of having successfully completed a dare, the adrenaline rush, the appreciation of my friends, and the burst of confidence (and sheer relief!) that came with succeeding.
Daring is not just for silly childhood and teenage games. On the contrary, the most successful leaders and investors in the world are the most daring people of all.
Who immediately comes to mind when you think of the world's most successful leaders and investors?
Maybe Warren Buffett, George Soros, Jim Rogers, John Paulson, all billionaire investing legends?
Or Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Jr., all inarguably strong leaders able to touch millions of people's hearts and lives?
And what do these successful investors and leaders have in common?
That's right, every single one of them lived a daring life. They dared to challenge the status quo and fight for what they believed in.
Warren Buffett didn't look around at his peers and say to himself, "Well, they're all buying dot com technology stocks, I guess I will, too". Instead, he is well known for sticking to the courage of his convictions and going against the grain when "everyone" else was participating in the crazy dot-com mania.
Likewise, Gandhi didn't look around at his countrymen and say, "Well, I'm sure someone else will take care of those pesky British; I think I'll have another loaf of bread." No, he too stuck to the courage of his convictions and continuously stood up for what he believed in, freeing the entire country of India in the process.
What does it mean to dare?
The dictionary tells us that 'dare' is defined as a verb meaning, "to have the courage to do something", and as a noun meaning, "a challenge, esp. to prove courage".
And that is exactly it, to dare is to summon your courage so that it is stronger than your fear and to take action in spite of not knowing the outcome.
When you think about it, this is exactly what successful leaders and investors do.
Leaders summon their courage, take calculated chances, and continually live outside of their comfort zone. Leaders by their very definition are not followers.
Successful investors – and leaders – are daring. They consistently summon the courage of their convictions to go against the herd. They have the guts to buy when everyone else is selling and to sell when everyone else is piling in.
When was the last time someone dared you to do something? I would hazard a guess that it's been awhile, maybe even as far back as grade school, or possibly college, depending on your peer group.
If someone dared you to make a million dollars, would you try it? Would you even attempt to do it?
What if someone dared you to make just an extra $1000 in one month, would you do it? Would you at least try to do it? What if someone dared you to learn and make just one new investment or trade before the end of the next quarter in an entirely new asset class, would you do it?
I hope so!
It seems that as we "grow up", somewhere along the way our lives become filled with responsibilities and with all of the things we feel we "must" do, instead of with the things we feel "inspired" to do or "dare" to do or "dream" to do.
We settle in, watch the nightly news, faithfully contribute to our 401k's, talk about the stock market with our co-workers and neighbors, and tend to the responsibilities of everyday life. Rarely do we dare to do anything different or to challenge the status quo.
Daring becomes a forgotten game of childhood, something relegated only to our memories.
But this is a mistake!
In order to be a successful investor, you must dare. Dare to live your life differently from your co-workers, dare to go against the grain of herd mentality, dare to take a chance and to try new ways of doing things, dare to take a stand on issues that are important to you, and most importantly, dare to be different and to challenge the status quo.
In investing, daring to be different is known as being a contrarian.
Contrarian investors are those lucky few who realized in 1999 that "irrational exuberance" meant that you should sell all of your technology stocks at the top of the market (or who like Warren Buffett never entered that frothy market at all).
Contrarian investors had the courage and the guts to stay out of the amped up housing market in 2004 - 2006 when "everyone" seemed to be successfully flipping houses and making a killing in real estate.
Contrarian investors dared to buy gold and silver back in 2002 - 2003, when most people thought they were crazy.
Contrarian investors today wisely question the herd mentality of systematically contributing to their 401k's and "hoping" that it will be enough for the future. They seek out alternative investments and viewpoints, challenge the status quo, and always think for themselves.
But what about you? Do you want to live an inspiring, daring life? Do you remember the exciting feeling of playing that game of "I Dare You"?
If so, then I have a challenge for you...
I Dare You to become a contrarian, to buy when no one's interested, and to sell when everyone wants in. Go on contributing to your 401k if you must, but seek out new investment ideas and always think for yourself.
I Dare You to become a business owner or entrepreneur rather than or in addition to an employee, to reap the bountiful rewards of owning your own business, including time freedom, no income ceiling, control over your circumstances, control over your taxes, control over your life, and so much more.
I Dare You to become a leader, not a follower. I dare you to stand for something, make your life be about something, to mean something to the world and stand up for what you believe in. Search for your purpose, live from your soul, love from your heart, and inspire others to do the same. The world needs good leaders; the world needs you now more than ever.
Most importantly, I Dare You to discover your unique brilliance and share it with the world.
"I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to become involved. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings. I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!" - William H. Danforth, I Dare You!
Turning Defeat into Victory
By Robert Ringer
As you can imagine, I receive a lot of e-mails from people who share their woes with me – particularly during these bad economic times. And while I can't answer all of them, I do try to read each and every one.
I not only do it because I feel a moral obligation, but for selfish reasons as well. You would be amazed at the continuing education I receive from my readers' e-mails.
The following e-mail, from "G.H." in the West Indies, is a good example of what I'm referring to.
I am an avid fan. I am committed to change since I believe that, in spite of my talents, it is the shoot-from-the-hip, BS from the mouth that has me where I am today – over forty, no savings, and re-starting my business every Monday morning.
I have had far too many peaks and troughs since I started my business back in 1994. Sometimes the troughs were very deep and excruciatingly painful, only because I never stuck with anything long enough.
I was always leaving for a trip here, another opportunity there, getting sidetracked, and sometimes opting to party and enjoy life instead of attending to what needed to be done.
Thank you for your thorough explanation of this thing called persistence. I am encouraged.
What struck me about G.H.'s e-mail was his willingness to bare his soul and be totally honest – not so much with me, but with himself. By doing so, I believe he has already taken the first step toward rising above his past mistakes and achieving the kind of success he clearly aspires to.
Admitting your mistakes may sound like a small thing, but it's not. On the contrary, you cannot navigate toward success until you have gone through the catharsis of being honest with yourself about the real reasons for your failure. Not excuses for your failure, but reasons.
I thought about G.H.'s e-mail the other day when I was strolling on the Mall in D.C., reflecting and contemplating. What caused his e-mail to come to mind was something I happened to read on the south wall of the World War II Memorial:
The Battle of Midway – June 4-7, 1942
They had no right to win. Yet they did, and in doing so they changed the course of a war... even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit – a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory.
– Walter Lord, Author
The moment I read these words, it became one of my favorite quotes. Walter Lord was a gifted author who wrote extensively about World War II and other historic events, such as the sinking of the Titanic. He had a long and productive career, passing away only recently (2002) at the age of eight-five.
What immediately struck me about this quote was Lord's gift for sculpting words. As I have repeatedly stated, it is not a writer's duty to come up with new thoughts. It is his duty is to craft ageless wisdom in ways that bring about epiphanies in the minds of his readers.
What a poetic and accurate way to describe the uniqueness of our species: "Even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit – a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory."
Is this not the story of virtually all great successes? G.H.'s tale of woe describes the predicament that much of the human race finds itself in today. Between the brutal realities of government redistribution of wealth and oppression combined with our own human flaws, it can be quite difficult to pick ourselves up and trudge forward.
But the fact is that just about anyone with reasonable intelligence can do it, because the human spirit really does possess skill, faith, and valor.
Skill. You are born with one or more unique skills, and it is your job to discover what those skills are.
Faith. Faith is belief, and belief is a choice. In Star Wars, when Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog, Luke Skywalker says, "I don't believe it." To which Yoda responds, "That is why you fail." As much as I'd like to, I can't improve on Yoda's explanation of why faith is so crucial to success. Who am I to question a Jedi Master?
Valor. Valor is courage. Because you have free will, you can choose to be courageous. In other words, valor is a state of mind.
The bottom line is that the magical blend of skill, faith, and valor is always available to us. Unfortunately, we do not always utilize these powerful tools. But when we do, we indeed have the capacity to lift ourselves from certain defeat to incredible victory. We see this happening and read about it virtually every day of our lives.
So if G.H.'s e-mail seems to describe your own situation to one extent or another, take heart. You can begin moving in the right direction today simply by utilizing three remarkable human traits – skill, faith, and valor – that are already available to you.
SUDAN & SOUTH SUDAN
“They attacked us for three days, from Tuesday until Thursday evening. They burned down five villages, looted more than 20 and destroyed water wells and pumps” displaced witness from North Darfur said to Radio Dabanga.
More than 7,000 people have fled their homes in North Darfur after government forces and militants reportedly burned down their villages last week. In an area in the center of the Darfur region, Jebel Marra, the Sudanese army has continuously been bombing the villages of Nari, Jerri, Sinjo, Amra Rashid, Kaya, Fatah and Amar Jadid. This has forced more than 30,000 to flee to nearby areas, trying to find shelter in the harsh mountainous terrain where there is no water.
In addition, fighting along the border between the two nations, and aerial bombardment by the Sudanese Armed Forces into the territory of South Sudan have intensified. U.N. chief Ban Ki-moon pleaded with Sudan and South Sudan on Wednesday to withdraw troops from the disputed Abyei region amid. Sudanese fleeing from Abyei, are now nearly destitute after missing harvests and exhausting the scant resources of local communities in the newly-independent, impoverished south.
There is some hopeful news. President Obama on Tuesday provided $26 million to tackle the urgent and developing refugee crisis brought on by violence in South Kordofan and Blue Nile states.
“We continue to call upon the government of Sudan to allow full and unfettered access for international humanitarian agencies to South Kordofan and Blue Nile to provide emergency assistance to those in need.” President Obama
The situation is ongoing though and extremely dire, there are 30,000 refugees stranded just in the dusty border town of Yida, between Sudan and South Sudan. How many more lives on the line, how many more pictures of wounded, starving children need to be viewed, how many more devastating and heartbreaking stories are going to be published before there is an end to the humanitarian crisis?
DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO
“We are very concerned about the worsening humanitarian situation in South Kivu, especially in the northern part of the province, in Shabunda, Walungu and Kalehe territories,” Laetitia Courtois, the head of the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) sub-delegation in Bukavu.
The fighting is intensifying in the DRC and the civilian population is suffering and paying the highest price. The ICRC has evacuated 53 civilian field casualties, including 18 children, from areas in which fighting was taking place and arranged for them to be treated in hospitals in Bukavu. Tens of thousands of people recently fled their homes in North Kivu Province, following attacks by armed groups and ensuing military operations by the national army. At the end of March, a large proportion of the population in the outskirts of Beni, North Kivu, fled their homes following the killing, raping and looting of villagers by armed men. UNHCR reported 33 attacks in north-eastern DRC.
Regrettably, the unstable security environment is just the beginning. If civilians aren’t killed by armed groups, they die from limited access to health care.
“For the wounded, the ability to obtain care quickly often makes the difference between life and death.”
– Courtois.
How do we stop so many gruesome civilian casualities? One man living in Congo, is taking matters into his own hands. Freddy Mwenengabo has gone on a hunger strike since March 4 to urge the Canadian government to address the human rights issues in Congo. He said he is willing to die for the cause because it will be one more death added to the millions who have already died. This is a drastic plea for change but the media and government have taken notice. It makes me wonder, do we have starve ourselves, see celebrities get arrested, and go to great lengths just to grab enough attention to push for change?
BURMA
Although official results have yet to be released, Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi led the National League for Democracy (NLD) to victory in a milestone by-election.
The US has declared that it is ready to relax sanctions on Burma, easing a ban on American companies investing in or offering financial services to the country.
“This election is an important step in Burma’s democratic transformation, and we hope it is an indication that the government of Burma intends to continue along the path of greater openness, transparency and reform,” White House Press Secretary Jay Carney.
Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton said the US was ready to allow private US aid groups to pursue non-profit activities on projects such as democracy building, health and education, and to give select Burmese officials and politicians permission to visit the US. Washington wants Burma to free all political prisoners, lift restrictions on those who have already been released, seek national reconciliation, and to end military ties to North Korea. I cannot help to think that the ease of sanctions is either a blessing or curse. Just because Burma is on the road to democracy, doesn’t mean the West can push for its demands on how the country should be run. It is not easy to build a new country after half a century of authoritarian rule, and we should monitor Burma’s developments and embrace progress without overstepping our ‘big brother’ role.
When No One Else Believes in You
By Craig Ballantyne
The year was 1999 and things were not going according to my mother's plan.
Her only son was still in University (that's what we call 'college' in Canada) at the age of 24 and when he spent the summers at home working in a factory to pay for his schooling, he would often stay out at the local bars until 3 or 4 in the morning, sometimes three nights in a row.
Not only was he not living up to her dreams, she was worried that his behavior would lead to her worst nightmare, that her boy would end up drinking himself into irrelevancy like his father.
She didn't have a lot of faith in her son's choice of schooling, either. At this point in her life, the only other Kinesiology graduate (my degree) she had ever met was the latest worker on the factory floor where she had been an office administrator for over 27 years.
Was this the fate of her son as well? Earning $12 an hour in an unsure industry, one that could be struck by sudden layoffs?
These thoughts terrified my mother. She was almost certain that I had wasted four years and tens of thousands of dollars getting a degree that would lead me back to the factory.
But that was her nightmare, and her nightmare only.
I knew everything was going to workout just fine.
Why?
Because I knew. I just knew.
I never, ever, not for a single second, ever-ever had any doubts about my future. There were ZERO self-limiting beliefs in my mind.
When no one else believes in you, sometimes you have to go it alone.
When you truly believe in yourself, sometimes you have to go it alone.
Some of the most memorable success stories in history have had to go it alone.
Back when I started McMaster University, I had full intentions of becoming a Strength and Conditioning Coach in the NHL. Not your average plan for a high school kid, but it required a specific plan that I stuck with for the next six years, first acquiring my Kinesiology degree, then my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist designation, and finally a Master's Degree in Exercise Physiology.
I planned my work, and worked my plan, as Nido Qubein says.
At the same time as my mother's nightmares for her son were growing stronger, my outlook for the future was getting brighter. I was so confident in myself that when I was 24, I sent a letter and a resume to every team in the National Hockey League, offering my Strength and Conditioning services to their athletes.
Unfortunately for that dream, they all sent back rejection letters. Letters that I still have packed away in the closet of my childhood bedroom at my mother's house.
Letters that make me smile today, because they represent another point in my life where I overcame rejection and the fear of failure to press on towards my goals and dreams of helping people.
Fortunately, it was right around the same time I was getting 'rejected' that I discovered my true calling in life. It all started when I stumbled upon a website while using the computers in the Health Sciences Library at McMaster. The website I had discovered was posting fitness articles and seemed to be developing quite a following through this model of delivering great free content.
Being the young know-it-all that I was, I thought, "I can do that", and started writing my own content for an email newsletter sent to friends, family, and colleagues. I did this all without a website, and eventually even sent unsolicited articles to Men's Health magazine in 2000. To my surprise and delight, the editor accepted my content and I've been writing for the biggest fitness publication for over 12 years.
Eventually I sold my first online product via Paypal in 2001 to clients who had discovered my work through the MensHealth.com website.
And the rest is history.
But again, through this entire journey, no matter how many rejection 'letters' I'd get or tough days I had to endure, there was never doubt that I would succeed.
That said, there's nothing exceptional about me.
I'm average height, average intelligence, average physical ability, and far-BELOW-average in decision-making (seriously, I've made some extremely stupid decisions in my life).
I suppose, if anything, I'm exceptional in my ability to persevere. To take a licking and keep on ticking.
But that's it. Nothing else.
You are likely smarter and better looking than I am, or at least you can make better decisions.
The question is, will you have the same "never quit attitude"? Will you be able to overcome the doubts that others are trying to impose on you?
Because that is what REALLY sets the success stories apart from the folks who struggle.
The BIG LESSON is this:
The only thing exceptional about successful people is their ability to do the work.
Few success stories occur because the person is a super-genius. Almost all success stories are based on perseverance and a commitment and consistency to doing the work and believing in themselves.
As Thomas Edison once said, "The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense."
Listen, when you get started, there are always going to be what Seth Godin calls, "The Dips".
That's where you struggle, and that's where some people do - and should - give up.
Yes, that's right. Sometimes people should give up, because what they are offering isn't right, or it's not their passion.
But with a good idea and passion, you'll get through that dip.
As long as you believe in yourself.
Never let the limiting beliefs of others get in the way of your success. Instead, stick to your beliefs, persevere, and never give up on something that you know is right for you.
That's all you can do when no one else believes in you.
